Engayged: The Proposal and Ring

There’s this cool thing that happens when you’re gay and engaged: you realize that there aren’t any rules you have to follow. But there’s also a terrifying thing that happens when you’re gay and engaged.

You realize that there aren’t any rules to follow.

Me? I like rules. I like a set of instructions that tell me how to do things. This is especially true when there’s something that I’ve never done before. Being engaged definitely falls into that category.

But, sadly for me, we live in a world where there is no guidebook on how to plan a same-sex wedding. Well, technically there is one or two, but since I plan on writing my own someday, I need as little competition as possible. So for all intents and purposes, there are none.

Which is where this part of the blog comes in! A lot of people have questions about how a same-sex engagement/wedding differs from a heterosexual one, so I’m going to share what I learn to answer your questions. Whether you’re gay, your friends are gay, or you just watched that viral video of the two male penguins getting “married” and can’t get enough of gay weddings, hopefully you can get something out of these posts!

So naturally, the first question people have is about the proposal. Usually the guy proposes to the girl, sometimes there’s something French involved like a four-star restaurant or the Eiffel Tower, the girl squeals and as the guy gets up to hug her she jumps into his arms and they swirl around with lights twinkling in the background.

So cute.

So hetero.

My advice when it comes to same-sex proposals? Just talk about it first! This ensures that a) your partner will say yes when you ask the question and it won’t be awkward, and b) the proposer and proposee get established. Michael and I talked about getting married for a long time, from when it was a joke up until the point that I looked at the calendar periodically wondering when he was going to get it over with already. From these talks, we established that he would do the proposal – because he loves planning cute surprises, and I’m lucky if I’m able to actually manage to surprise him with a present at Christmastime.

Once you’ve established who the cuter surprise-maker is, you’ve got to decide on rings. Michael decided to buy both rings at once, gave me mine at the proposal, and then let me put his on him as well. We decided to get matching rings because it’s a symbol of unity. Our rings are from the Love and Pride collection by Udi Behr, and I think they’re perfect for us!

I never wear jewelry, so it’s hard for me to get used to seeing a ring everywhere I turn. When I’m driving, when I wake up, etc. Hopefully by the time the wedding rolls around, having a ring on my finger won’t feel so weird.

So that’s about it on proposals and rings! Moral of the story, do whatever you want and whatever is right for you and your partner. Talk about it a few times before you decide to do it so you know what kind of proposal your partner wants, and whether or not he/she would rather do the proposing. Pick matching rings or rings that complement each other depending on your preferred style. Have fun with it!

Have any questions about other parts of an engaygement? Comment below if you’d like me to share my experience with a certain aspect of wedding planning once I get to it!